10 Tips for Visiting a Loved One in Memory Care

Making an effort to visit loved ones in memory care is a compassionate and thoughtful choice, but it can require sensitivity, patience, and planning. If your loved one is living with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, visiting them may come with unique challenges. Seniors with dementia often experience declining cognitive abilities, mood swings and shifting behaviors, making it difficult to interact with them sometimes.

Understanding how to make visiting a loved one in memory care positive guarantees your visits are much more fulfilling for both you and your loved one. Whether your loved one has recently transitioned into a memory care community or has been living there long-term, there are steps you can take to make the visit count. Explore these expert-approved tips for visiting a loved one in memory care and answer the question of how often you should visit someone in memory care. 

The Importance of Visiting a Loved One in Memory Care

Regularly visiting a loved one in memory care plays a crucial role in maintaining their emotional connections and enhancing their well-being. Spending time with familiar faces provides your loved one with familial comfort, reduces feelings of loneliness and helps them retain their sense of identity. The reassurance of your presence can have a lasting positive impact on your loved one’s mood and quality of life, even if they struggle to remember past visits.

Visiting a loved one in memory care also allows you to stay engaged in their care. This is a great opportunity to observe any changes in their health and collaborate with care partners to ensure their needs are met. The answer to “How often should you visit someone in memory care?” varies depending on every family’s specific needs. 

Visiting A Loved One in Memory Care: Tips for Peaceful Connection

Plan Your Visits Thoughtfully

When visiting a loved one in memory care, consider their daily routine and energy levels before planning your visit. Many seniors with dementia experience increased fatigue at certain times of the day. Choosing to visit at a time when they are most alert sets the stage for an engaging and fulfilling visit. Oftentimes, the morning or early afternoon works best for seniors in memory support communities. 

Keep Visits Consistent

Maintaining a consistent visiting schedule helps create a sense of familiarity and security for your loved one. Even if your loved one has difficulty remembering past visits, the routine of seeing you regularly can be a source of peace. Many family members wonder, “How often should you visit someone in memory care?” While the answer varies based on your personal circumstances, visiting a loved one in memory care at least once a week can provide reassurance without being overwhelming.

Set Realistic Expectations

As dementia progresses, your loved one’s ability to recognize you or engage in conversations may change. It is important to adjust your expectations and focus on the present moment rather than the past. Even if your loved one doesn’t remember your name, the warmth of your presence and your kindness will have a lasting positive impact on them. 

Engage in Simple Activities

Enjoying simple activities together, like reading aloud or working on a puzzle, can provide a cherished shared experience. Share heartfelt moments by doing activities you both enjoy, like taking a short walk through the community garden or flipping through a family photo album. 

Memory care communities often offer a variety of activities and programs that can help keep your loved one engaged and active. Participating in these planned activities together is an exciting way to spend time as a family. It can deeply benefit both of you to take your mind off of your loved one’s memory loss and enjoy each other’s company. 

Bring Meaningful Items

Bringing familiar or favorite items can spark joy and trigger happy memories. Providing family photos, a beloved book, a cherished blanket, letters from family and friends or even playing a favorite song can create moments of connection and start conversations. 

Focus on Positive Communication

It is important to use a calm and reassuring tone when visiting a loved one in memory care. Make eye contact, speak clearly and keep sentences simple. Try to avoid correcting them and simply redirect them or go along with their version of events to avoid frustration. Listen carefully to your loved one’s nonverbal cues and embrace periods of silence when they occur.

If your loved one with dementia is finding the conversation too difficult, they may use non-verbal communication. As dementia progresses, this can become the main way a person communicates. Simple gestures like smiling, nodding, holding hands or offering a gentle touch can be comforting and reinforce understanding and connection. Using visual cues like pointing to objects or showing pictures can also help your loved one feel understood. 

Be Mindful of Your Emotions

It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions when visiting a loved one in memory care, but try to maintain a positive demeanor. Your loved one may pick up on sadness or frustration, which can sour their mood. When feeling overwhelmed, it is best to take a deep breath before interacting with your loved one. Trying to make your time together peaceful and pleasant is best for everyone involved.

Respect Their Reality

Sometimes, your loved one may recall past events differently or believe they are in a past time period. Instead of contradicting them, enter their world with empathy and curiosity. If they think they are in their childhood home, ask them about their favorite memories from that time. Taking a gentle approach can make your visits more enjoyable and less stressful for everyone involved.

Include Other Family Members

Create a strong support system by encouraging other family members to visit. If you have siblings or children, coordinate visits to ensure that your loved one sees different familiar faces on a regular basis. If family members live far away, use a shared calendar to coordinate phone calls or video chats to keep them connected. This thoughtful approach can also help answer the common question, “How often should you visit someone in memory care?” An organized plan guarantees your loved one gets consistent familial interaction without overwhelming them.

Leave on a Positive Note

Remember to end each visit with warmth and reassurance. A simple “I love you” or “I’ll see you soon” can provide comfort, even if your loved one does not fully understand time. Have a care partner available to gently redirect your loved one’s attention if they begin to become upset or anxious as you leave. 

Making Visits Meaningful Together

If your loved one has recently had to move from assisted living to memory care, this transition can be challenging. While the question of “How often should you visit someone in memory care?” can be difficult to answer, the experts at Wilshire Senior Living are available to guide you on your journey.

Planning regular visits and offering reassurance help your loved one adjust and feel more at home in their new environment. Making the time to visit a loved one in memory care is a precious opportunity to bring them extra joy and comfort, even if your visits are different than they once were. By leading with patience, understanding and love, you will create treasured memories that benefit both you and your loved one for years to come. No matter the stage of your loved one’s memory journey, your continued presence and support remain priceless.

At Wilshire, we strongly encourage visits and know your loved one will be overjoyed that you want to spend time with them. Schedule a personal tour to learn more about our policies on visiting a loved one in memory care.